Social Shyness: Overcoming Shyness

You may have found ways over the years to reduce your anxiety but the shyness and avoidance tendencies remained.  So in reality you feel like you have not made any progress.  In essence, you are dealing with three separate entities – shyness, anxiety and behaviours and each needs its own management system.  The confidence that comes from managing all three creates its own momentum but until that point, it feels like you are taking 3 steps forward and 5 back.  If we look at them in turn we can see they come from different points in the body – anxiety is the body’s response to a stress trigger, shyness is really about how you feel about yourself and being in the company of others and the avoidance techniques are automatic responses that the subconscious mind feels are for your benefit. 

The power control for shyness and avoidance behaviours is in the subconscious mind and it makes sense that the subconscious mind must be used to make these changes lifelong.  You know that being logical makes no difference long-term because the root of the problem is in the subconscious mind.  So how do you access the subconscious – through hypnosis.  Hypnosis is a concentrated relaxation (the concentration is the change you want to make). 

In our waking state, the beta state, the conscious mind is on guard, filtering, hearing and seeing what it wants to see and hear and disregarding anything else.  As the body relaxes you move into the alpha state which is a consciousness of what is going (rather than the conscious part of the mind) – you can go through the memories and feelings attached to past events and review them in an objective sense and with your adult’s self now determine whether they warrant the control that you have allowed them to have.  You are removing the emotional attachment from these memories.  As you move into theta, the creative part, the imaginative part of the brain waves, you can see how you want to be now, how you would feel not being social anxious, the positive difference it would make to your life.  Also you are aware of any fear of changing that is present and analyze this fear’s concerns.  Then with delta these changes are being absorbed into the deep recesses of the subconscious mind.  You have to bring all the sense into play, you have to make it real.  The subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real or imagined so this is used for you to rehearse how you want things to be – a comfortable you, feeling relaxed in company.  In this way, we are changing the avoidance behaviours.  Accepting yourself for as you are and knowing that you are entitled to take up space on this world and be counted.  Making the improvements you need to make, being less self conscious and embracing life.  But you have to want to change, you have to make the decision to embrace change so that you can be relaxed in the company of others, no matter what goes on.  It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does to you, it is only your response that gives it worth.

Your child needs all the help he can get when it comes to overcoming a shy streak. Kids are not typically born with an energetic spirit and they would typically need our help to be able to get past through that shy streak. As people who are older than them, kids will look to us to help them get through this awkward phase of getting to know other people and becoming as sociable as they can really be. Since we are the closest people to them, we can definitely do some great things that would help them come out of their shell.

1. Start with finding a good preschool – Kids may feel shy and overwhelmed with the thought of having too many people around them. When finding a preschool it would be best to consider an institution which only gets a few students so that their teachers can focus on them individually. You need to help your child establish trust with other older people around them and this can be made easier if the teacher can actually focus on your child. You should also spend time to scrutinize the classes and activities which will be provided by the said preschool so you can assess if it suits the interest and capabilities of your child.

2. Attend events for kids – One good way to help ease your child into a large group of people is to actually attend some events with them and be there to usher them out of their shyness. You can start by taking them to kiddie parties or going to parent-child bonding activities. You really need to invest your time in attending such events with your kids because it’s there that you would be able to observe what triggers their shyness and then come up with better ideas on how you can target such triggers.

3. Set an optimistic example – Once you see your child feeling slightly awkward or unsure of situations, be the person to boost their confidence. It also helps to show your child that things can be accomplished with a can-do attitude. Just make sure that you don’t push them to do something, just coax them into becoming positive about the activity.

4. Talk it out with your child – Sometimes it might be hard on your part to actually understand what makes your kid shy. So to deal with this, you better be open and honest about the situation with your kid and ask him what makes him feel uncomfortable around other people or big crowds. They will be comfortable to tell you about it and then you can help them understand why it’s okay to become more sociable and how can they position themselves in the middle of people they are not yet close with.

5. Role-play at home – If there are specific situations where your kid gets particularly shy, you can help them overcome this by acting it out at home. This way you can also teach your child directly how they can react and speak with people when they are in that particular situation.

The best person who can help your child overcome this is you. All you have to do is be extra caring and thoughtful with this situation because this can have a big impact in the personality development of your child.

Have you experienced shyness and anxiety in social situations? I too spent a great deal of my childhood and adult life suffering from shyness. For me, it started back in grade school and once you know you are ’shy’, it often becomes part of who you are.

Shyness can affect anyone, and it can really make social occasions difficult. Fortunately, along the way I decided I was going to conquer this and not let it hold me back!

Be determined to start TODAY to conquer your Shyness and Anxiety!

Let’s First Look At The Main Symptoms:

Shyness is an emotion that affects how a person feels and behaves around others. You can feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, timid, or insecure. You may also have a sense of being inadequate. A person may experience a range of feelings from mild anxiety in the presence of others to a pronounced anxiety disorder.

I was tired of making excuses for myself and missing out in life. I’m sure you agree those who suffer from shyness do not want to be shy – they want to have control just like everyone else.

The GOOD NEWS is there are things you can do – naturally. Let’s look at 3 Specific Steps

Step 1: Put The FOCUS On Other People!

Determine to take your mind off YOU! Tell yourself that you are CONFIDENT. Have a positive mental attitude and put your focus on other people.

Here’s an Example – When you meet someone, smile, take a deep breath and ask them a question which requires them to do the talking. It could be, “tell me about yourself (your job, your hometown etc)”. Use that time to RELAX and tell yourself you are CONFIDENT, then join in when (if) you are ready. If you are not ready, simply ask another question, smile and keep listening.

Show interest in what the person is saying. When “listening intently” you are not focusing on yourself. Most people enjoy talking about themselves so you can use that time to “breathe and relax”.

Remember that with most things PRACTICE makes it easier so have a few questions prepared ahead of time to help start you off. Try practicing with people who make you feel at ease such as a family member or close friend.

Take the focus off your thoughts and concentrate on others.

Step 2: At the beginning of any new “anxious meeting or event”, let others know you are shy!

How embarrassing you might think – I don’t want people to know about my problem. I totally understand, but think of it this way – here’s what you gain:

The pressure is now taken off YOU!

People won’t call on you to be lead the group, or to be outspoken with your opinion. They now understand and will not expect you to speak up. Because that pressure if off, you can RELAX. Once you start to “relax” and focus by “listening intently” you slowly begin to gain confidence.

When confidence rises up, you may surprise yourself by contributing with a comment or by simply asking a ‘prepared’ open question. Once you have contributed with a comment or question – your confidence will grow.

By placing the focus on the other person it gives you time to relax and just listen.

Step 3: Get really good at something!

Want confidence to speak up? Then develop your talent in something you like to do. When you get really good at something you will develop confidence in that subject. Use that knowledge to fall back on when in a situation of shyness.

It takes an extra dose of confidence to speak when you are shy – but if you have a subject you are really comfortable in – it doesn’t matter what you say – you are the expert; therefore, you are adding value to the conversation.

Conclusion: 

There are All-Natural Solutions for SHYNESS, SOCIAL ANXIETY and GENERAL ANXIETY. Get the information you need and don’t let shyness hold you back from life. Remember to take small steps (baby steps if necessary). Don’t expect to overcome years of shyness overnight; but make a decision that you will overcome this one step at a time. Celebrate each small success – it can be done!

     To achieve and maintain a sexually fulfilling lifestyle is something everyone deserves.  Unfortunately, far too often only the bold and the beautiful seem to be able to fully realize their sexual goals and fulfill their erotic fantasies.  For those who are either less attractive, less bold, or both, finding and maintaining sexual partners, particularly partners who interest and excite them, can be a difficult challenge. Nevertheless, everyone deserves to enjoy an active and healthy sex life, and to fulfill his or her secret longings and fantasies (assuming that they are legal of course). If shyness or a lack of confidence is interfering with you realizing your sexual goals and fantasies, it’s time to rid yourself of all apprehensions and take life by the horns.  Life rewards the bold, not just the beautiful.

     If we were all Brad Pitt, perhaps it wouldn’t matter so much if we were shy or timid.  Women would flock to us in bars, at our schools or jobs, even at the grocery stores. All we would need to do is shine those pearly whites at one lustful lady, and she would be ours for the evening.  However, for those of us who are slightly less wealthy and/or attractive than Brad Pitt, courage and determination will have to bridge the gap. Unfortunately, ridding your mind of shyness cannot be learned from a book, nor even an article such as this one. Neither can it be dealt with in the confines of a therapist or doctor’s office (although the drugs they may prescribe could help). The only real and sure way of ridding yourself of shyness is to confront your fears head-on, and the best way to do this is to just go ahead and jump.

     A famous therapist by the name of Albert Ellis once told a story of how he overcame his shyness with women. He gave himself an assignment to approach more than 100 women within one month. Selecting a nearby park, he eventually approached 130 women within the allotted time, though he didn’t land a single date. What he did achieve, however, was much more important. He had totally and completely rid himself of his fear of approaching and speaking to women. What years and years of self-talk could not accomplish, was accomplished within a single month. Sometimes the only way of getting over our fear of jumping into the water, regardless of how high we are from it, is by simply taking the plunge over and over again. Like any fear, shyness can be eroded. This is cheap and effective therapy anyone can afford.

     Shyness stems from a fear of rejection.  Though there may be some genetic disposition issues involved, which we can’t do much about, most shyness is learnt behavior.  This means it can be unlearnt.  Fear, particularly faulty and irrational fear, lives in the dark.  Fears live and flourish in the unknown and the uncertain.  However, you can go over and over worst-case scenarios in your head until the cows come home, and still not have the courage to approach a woman. This is because you need to convince the subconscious mind, rather than the conscious mind.

     The subconscious mind has formed its opinions based mostly on past experiences.  Every time in the past you allowed shyness to prevent you from approaching a woman, your subconscious beliefs were reinforced. So if you want to change your subconscious mind, to change how you feel at your very core, you will need to create new experiences. The fact is you just have to leap out and do it. Have a drink, shut off the internal dialogue, ignore the butterflies, and just do it.  The subconscious mind will soon realize that there is nothing really to fear (but fear itself), and even rejection is not the end of the world.  Like any fear, shyness can be eroded until its dead and gone.  It’s time to rub it to death.

     So just forget about reading all those self-help books and attending all those feel good seminars.  Especially forget the overpriced therapists and psychologists who will attempt to talk you to death. You cannot think your way out of this problem.  You must act your way out of it.  This is good news, of course, because it won’t cost you penny.  It will only cost you time and effort.  You absolutely deserve an active and exciting sex life, even perhaps with multiple partners. Instead of being afraid of approaching women, start being afraid of growing old with a life full of regrets.  I never want to look back at a life full of missed opportunities and unsatisfied fantasies.  Life is just way too short. 

Teenage anxiety help is most effective when it comes from within. Teenagers may feel isolated and this is a very difficult state that affects mood, can lead to depression, panic or even phobia. Self-hypnosis is the ideal approach to guide teens with the support they need.

Seeking Assistance

Help for children is readily available but it becomes more complex when kids hit their adolescent years. Hypnosis for children is a great place to start, especially for the very young. This approach helps kids develop a meditative routine that they can use throughout their lives.

Introducing hypnosis to teenagers can be a little more challenging but it is well worth the effort. Teens often feel isolated and they don’t always want to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. Self-hypnosis is ideal because it allows the adolescent to work through his anxiety independently.

Empowerment Through Teenage Anxiety Help

The mind is a vast resource that can accomplish great things if used properly. Self-hypnosis is a fantastic approach that is the perfect teenager help for anxiety because it is empowering. The adolescent is able to use the recordings at his leisure and on his own terms.

The process provides the necessary relaxation that can make the anxiousness and stressful feelings melt away. The teen develops a new self image and improved self esteem and confidence as she has more and more positive experiences. The entire experience is empowering and it is a wonderful exercise for people bridging the gap between childhood and independence.

When to Seek Professional Assistance

Depression is a very serious condition that requires immediate attention. If the teen is experiencing severe feelings of hopelessness combined with a preoccupation with death or suicide, it is imperative that you seek professional intervention.

Self-hypnosis can still be used as a helpful guide but it is always best to make sure that the depressive state is temporary and not due to a disorder. The symptoms of major depression include the dark thoughts about suicide and death along with excessive sleeping or sleeplessness, weight gain or weight loss and a complete disinterest in things that used to bring great joy.

Choosing a Self-Hypnosis CD

Selecting the right recording is of the utmost importance. A professional hypnotherapist who has extensive experience in the field should create the composition. Following are a few suggestions to consider.

You can find support through Duncan McColl’s masterful self-hypnosis recording found here – Teenage Anxiety Help. Duncan is a legendary hypnotherapist who shared his talent with many, offering support for many conditions.

Another excellent selection is by excellent hypnotherapist, Steve G. Jones found here – Teenager Help. Steve’s recording is designed to help teens empower themselves through the strength of their minds. Other stellar recording s are available here – Help For Children. Just click on the links for more information.