Social Shyness: Overcoming Shyness

You may have found ways over the years to reduce your anxiety but the shyness and avoidance tendencies remained.  So in reality you feel like you have not made any progress.  In essence, you are dealing with three separate entities – shyness, anxiety and behaviours and each needs its own management system.  The confidence that comes from managing all three creates its own momentum but until that point, it feels like you are taking 3 steps forward and 5 back.  If we look at them in turn we can see they come from different points in the body – anxiety is the body’s response to a stress trigger, shyness is really about how you feel about yourself and being in the company of others and the avoidance techniques are automatic responses that the subconscious mind feels are for your benefit. 

The power control for shyness and avoidance behaviours is in the subconscious mind and it makes sense that the subconscious mind must be used to make these changes lifelong.  You know that being logical makes no difference long-term because the root of the problem is in the subconscious mind.  So how do you access the subconscious – through hypnosis.  Hypnosis is a concentrated relaxation (the concentration is the change you want to make). 

In our waking state, the beta state, the conscious mind is on guard, filtering, hearing and seeing what it wants to see and hear and disregarding anything else.  As the body relaxes you move into the alpha state which is a consciousness of what is going (rather than the conscious part of the mind) – you can go through the memories and feelings attached to past events and review them in an objective sense and with your adult’s self now determine whether they warrant the control that you have allowed them to have.  You are removing the emotional attachment from these memories.  As you move into theta, the creative part, the imaginative part of the brain waves, you can see how you want to be now, how you would feel not being social anxious, the positive difference it would make to your life.  Also you are aware of any fear of changing that is present and analyze this fear’s concerns.  Then with delta these changes are being absorbed into the deep recesses of the subconscious mind.  You have to bring all the sense into play, you have to make it real.  The subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real or imagined so this is used for you to rehearse how you want things to be – a comfortable you, feeling relaxed in company.  In this way, we are changing the avoidance behaviours.  Accepting yourself for as you are and knowing that you are entitled to take up space on this world and be counted.  Making the improvements you need to make, being less self conscious and embracing life.  But you have to want to change, you have to make the decision to embrace change so that you can be relaxed in the company of others, no matter what goes on.  It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does to you, it is only your response that gives it worth.

Overcoming shyness and social phobia is not easy. If you are going to try and lift the shackles it will require lots of dedication, persistence and thinking. Social anxiety can rear it’s ugly head at parties or other social occasions, when meeting new people at work, or sometimes damagingly at job interviews, where it prevents you expressing your true abilities and perhaps advancing when the less deserving seem to do well.

So what are the best methods for overcoming shyness and social phobia? You can try anti-depressants, but will they cure the root problem and what gets you tense in the first place. Alcohol is hardly a solution either.

Overcoming shyness and social phobia can be difficult because your mind partly knows it isn’t logical to get quite so tense over what should be “trivial” encounters, yet the alarm bells start to ring in the head and the nerves and fear take over. The brain reverts to a primitive “fight or flight” mode at which point reasoning goes out the window.

It all means the best answer lies from a qualified expert who can come up with reasons for your behaviour and devise strategies for overcoming shyness and social phobia. It does require some willingness and persistence to stick with what can sometimes be uncomfortable challenges.

One suggestion worth trying is visualisation, where you go through what a successful encounter would be like in your mind, running through how you would hope to react and tackle a specific situation. While this may seem odd it can bring feelings of positivity and also preparation. Feeling you have some weapons in your armoury is just one way to start work on overcoming shyness and social phobia.

For a new program to help you with overcoming shyness and social phobia from a qualified psychologist head to Solving Shyness

A portrayal of the debilitating effects of not acquiring social / conversational skills early on in life. How it leads to a vicious cycle of further isolation, and a further dead-end as far as those skills are concerned. How the continuation of it leads to a lack of self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. Blog (entries on shyness / social skills as well as other general thoughts): pristinewaters.blogspot.com

A speech in front of a hundred people…. but an audience of millions watching on national television. Sounds scary right? Absolutely.  It is not an exaggeration to say that there are so many people who are totally terrified of standing in front of a crowd.  

Being shy is a normal human reaction to meeting new people or standing before a crowd of total strangers.  But there are those who are extremely shy that being in a social activity, group event, or a simple party is a no-no.  Even just being around people and the thought of being watched by other people gives them butterflies!

According to the Social Anxiety Association, people with this disorder are often misdiagnosed  as having a condition called schizophrenia.  Others think that extremely shy people are suffering from manic depression or some other personality disorder.  But people with Social Anxiety Disorder have a much more serious condition that just having the feeling of having flying insects inside the gut.  

Ordinary people experience shyness and some can actually fight off their instinct to clam up and shut up.  Others have it better like extroverts who thrive on social interaction.  But for people afflicted with serious social anxiety are often misunderstood, ridiculed, and resented by other so-called  normal people.  Genetics, social and cultural influences, and psychological factors also contribute to social anxiety.

By knowing that a person has this type of anxiety disorder, or any other anxiety attacks for that matter, the immediate solution is often to ask for a doctor to prescribe anti-anxiety medication.   People dealing with social disorders can resort to the use of prescription drugs, coupled with counseling sessions.  Anxiety medication is most effective when it is followed by one-on-one discussions with a therapist who could provide valuable information and tips to manage the symptoms of the disorder.          To recover from their problems, people with anxiety disorders need to gradually open up through therapy, consultations, or group psychotherapy treatments. All these will help out in dealing with their status, to start being open to other people.  Eventually, patients in therapy would learn how to manage their feelings. Exposing them to proper group discussions, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and other effective anxiety medications can help them cure themselves without the use of drugs. Being socially inactive is really based on your personality and how a person sees himself in a positive manner.  Anti-anxiety medications, however, must be taken only with the advice and approval of a doctor.  The unregulated use of these medications may lead to serious side effects.   
Each of us is unique. Being afflicted with social anxiety disorder is not the end of one’s life…there is hope.  Confidence, self-esteem, and good old-fashioned guts will help people with social anxiety go out of their shell of extreme shyness and insecurity.   By taking steps to get healing and help, even the most socially-averse individuals can get treatment that is necessary to restore their lives and allow them to pursue fulfillment in their everyday relationships with people.

Product Description
Many children are naturally shy but extreme shyness and social anxiety can become a major childhood problem, leading to avoidance of school, difficulty in making friends and even developing into social anxiety in adulthood. In “Overcoming Your Child’s Shyness and Social Anxiety”, child psychologists Lucy Willetts and Cathy Creswell explain how parents can help a shy child learn to challenge their thoughts and behaviour patterns and learn to participate confidently i… More >>

Overcoming Your Child’s Shyness and Social Anxiety