Social Shyness: Overcoming Shyness

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Successfully overcoming shyness on your first date may enable you to create a good impression in the eyes of the girl that you are dating. You will not want to look timid on your first date; therefore overcoming your shyness is a top priority for you before you go on your date.

Usually the fear that you feel when shyness hits you is usually much worse than what you will expect in the reality. It is not real at all and there is nothing to be afraid of. To overcome shyness on your first date, you will need to confront your fear directly:

Dress well. When you feel that you look good before a date, you will feel more confident about yourself. You will tend to talk more confidently and show that you are in control. Eliminate any negative thoughts. For once, tell yourself that you will only think of the positives. Throw all negatives thoughts, fears, and rejections out of the window. Approach your first date with absolute confidence and optimism. Plan for your very first date. Before the first date, make sure that you do the necessary preparation. Find out as much as possible about what she likes, what are her hobbies, what is her lifestyle, etc. With all these information, you will be able to come out with topics to talk about during the date so as to eliminate any awkwardness of silence. Respect yourself more. You will need to love and respect yourself more. There is nothing wrong about feeling shy in dating, and it does not mean that you are inferior in anyway. Combat your fear of shyness and overcome it.

By overcoming your shyness on your first date, she will see you as a man who is confident, composed, and able to take the lead. All these elements will create the attraction that is necessary for her to fall for you.

You can get more tips and resources on how you can overcome your shyness from the website below:

Ideally, almost everyone is a little bit shy and self-conscious to some extent but rationally speaking, shyness while a general problem for both sexes seems to be more common among men in general. This can be attributed to the fact that society places the man in the role of the “seeker”.

It is a natural response to being unfamiliar with the rules for social interaction by not being sure of how you’re supposed to act, so you end up being quiet, feeling awkward, and generally being highly conscious of being out of depth.

The major problem with being shy is the fact that it virtually makes you to be too focused on yourself often to the total neglect of others around you as you are always prone to be thinking about just yourself – how am I looking? Does he or she like me or not?

Being shy creates the impression that you are not friendly, timid, insensitive, distrustful and uninteresting to be with. It kind of creates a sense of inferiority complex which in turn will affects your ability to succeed in many other areas of life apart from just relationships.

There is a lot shy people miss out of in life just because of being in their “little corner” of the world which of course they have helped themselves knowingly or unknowingly in getting holed-in. This may further lead to total reclusion. In this state, dating or building relationship bonds can only be a nightmare.

shyness can therefore keep one from the three fundamentals of successful dating which are 1) getting out there, 2) taking chances, and 3) enjoying life. These are basically the fundamentals to successful dating, so it’s absolutely important getting rid of that shyness and start living life again.

Fortunately, shyness is one those traits or habits that most people grow out of as they grow older and develop confidence as they interact with more people. This is true because almost everyone is shy at a certain point in their life, most especially when young.

To overcome shyness, below are a few tips that are sure to help any shy individual get over this problem.

1. Learning to trust yourself can help you overcome distrustful shyness. Getting to know your individuality, valueing, cherishing, admiring and respecting whom you are as an individual is a great starter in freeing yourself from distrustful shyness. If there is no trust or value for yourself as an individual, there is no way you can start trusting others. Self confidence and trust in yourself will help you in forgeting about yourself as your trust in yourself grows thus the feeling of self consciousness will gradually erode while you start developing consideration and care for others unconsciously.

2. The fear of rejection is arguably the biggest problem in starting a new relationship with someone to whom you are attracted. The fear that you will be rejected, that you won’t know what to say and the fear that you won’t know how to act. This is more true for the men and to a lesser degree for the women.

Fear and anxiety will produce distinct psychological consequences, and if there is anything that is going to hinder your success in dating, it is nothing but fear.

To overcome this bilating problem, approach the individual with the sole purpose of picking them up as your friend or your brother/sister. Once your ego is out of the way, you’ll be able approach the issue from a completely different perspective and with greater chances of success.

Always try and remember that no matter how many people are not interested in you, that there are many more people who would be delighted to have the pleasure of your company.

Rejection is just a risk you will have to take and learning to not take it personal, accepting it as a part of the process of dating, would help heal any wounds that rejection might cause. Acceptance feels great, and you’ll never experience it if you don’t take a chance on that individual.

3. Shy people always fear that they are being evaluated negatively. They think that they are always being watched, being sized and constantly under scrutiny by others while in reality they are the ones doing this to others.

It is advisable to stop judging and sizing up others and stop the thinking that others are always doing this to you. This attitude breeds insecurity and self-centeredness as you are always worrying about how other see YOU, feel about YOU and how they judge YOU. It is all about YOU.

Try and put yourself for once in other people’s position and realize that most people are shy and are usually waiting for someone to make the first move. This realisation can help you once you understand that are not alone in your plight for acceptability with others.

4.  Practice smiling and making eye contact first with those strangers who don’t intimidate you, then with people who intimidate you to varying degrees and then finally those you are attracted to. You can start by smiling to at least 3-5 people in a day and then grow the list.

5.  Start making positive but candid compliments about people with the sole aim of making them feel good about themselves. It might be difficult for a start but once this can be kept up with, the benefits in developing your confidence while conversing with others will be immense.

6. Move around a busy public place and try opening up lines of communication with strangers who don’t intimidate you and get used to being around people. Join activity groups or may be take a class, go to church more regular, go to a hobby club, the gym or exercise classes, attend parties of friends and colleagues, where you’d have the opportunity of talking to people. Open up to people in these groups and by all means try and socialize.

7. A very big pithole to avoid when trying to  overcome shyness with regard to the opposite sex is to avoid the “seeking a mate” mentality. Try and talk to the person as though you were both of the same sex and be completely uninterested romantically for a starter. People easy sense this “mate seeking tendency” and it can be a very big turnoff as it makes you seem desperate, needy and clingy and these are obvious traits most people avoid getting involved with.

Most people have moments where they feel a little bit shy. However, if that shyness is preventing you from doing things you want to do, it is time to learn about overcoming shyness. While it may take a while for the feelings of shyness to go away, there are tips that can help you present yourself as if you were not at all shy.

Try out a few of the tips listed below. If one does not work for you then move on to the next. You owe it to yourself to try and break free of the shyness that has been holding you back.

Plan Ahead

One thing that many shy people report is that they feel like they have nothing to talk about. If you feel this way, then plan ahead. Decide in advance what topics you will try to discuss. Keep up on the news, so that if a current event is being discussed, you will be able to participate in the conversation. If you are going to be around people with a certain interest, take a few minutes to learn something about it. You do not have to be an expert on any subject, just know enough so that you will feel like you have something to add.

Be a Good Listener

This is probably an easy one for most shy people. Rather than trying to carry the conversation yourself, learn to be a really good listener. Ask open ended questions that will allow the other person to give a long answer. By paying attention to what the person is saying, you will be able to ask follow up questions.

This is a great way to keep the conversation going without having to do all of the talking yourself.

Take Baby Steps

If you are painfully shy, do not try overcoming shyness all at once. Instead, take one small step at a time. You do not have to become the life of the party overnight, but by taking small steps in the right direction, you never know where the path mind end.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice having a conversation with someone that you trust. There is no shame in being shy. Confide your feelings to a friend or family member and ask them for help in learning how to be better at talking to people.

Practice entering and exiting a conversation, making eye contact, and other skills. When you practice, you will become more confident and will feel more ready to get into a conversation with someone that you do not know.

Take a Class

If the attempts you make on your own at overcoming shyness fall a bit short, then consider taking a class. There are classes that cover a variety of social skills. While the classes may not address shyness specifically, they will help boost your confidence in social situations.

You will be taught skills and techniques to help you in a variety of situations.

If you find that your shyness is paralyzing and that, after your best efforts, no improvement has been made, you might want to consider therapy. There may be an underlying cause for your extreme shyness. If you do not get help, you may miss many opportunities because of your shyness.

You really can step out of your comfort zone and do all of the things that you thought your shyness would keep you from doing. Just take one step at a time, and you will see that overcoming shyness is easier than you thought!

Are you shy and you do not know how to act around men? If you want to be successful with men in the dating game, overcoming shyness with men is important. You do not have to stay aloof with men because there are ways to achieve confidence with men.

It is so frustrating that you want to be with a particular person but your shyness gets into the way. You do not know what to do or what to say and you often blew the opportunity to meet someone amazing because of your shyness. Overcoming shyness with men can be very difficult in the beginning but of course you have to take the first step and do something about your problem. Here are some tips to help you gain confidence around men.

Do not pressure yourself and start slow. Overcoming shyness with men can be a long process and you cannot rush yourself on this so accept that you need to take it slow. Take baby steps to be able to overcome your shyness. You can start by just a simple smile and a small talk. Anyone can do this so you can do this too. Do not pressure yourself but just smile and learn how to engage in a small talk. If you succeed in making baby steps, you will eventually learn how be at ease around men.

Constant practice makes it perfect. Maybe to some people socializing with the opposite sex is just a normal activity but for you it is a struggle. Do not worry because constant practice can help you improve your social skills around men. Practice with a friend. Practice eye contact and engaging in small conversation.

Act as if you are confident. If overcoming shyness with men is difficult at first, then learn to fake it. Act as if you are confident and you will eventually find yourself not acting anymore. You will soon learn to be truly confident around men.

Be positive. Sometimes shyness comes from being so negative and too much fear of rejection. In overcoming shyness with men, it is important to be positive and avoid thinking too much about being rejected.

Be comfortable with yourself. If you are shy because you are worried about your looks, the way you dress, the way you speak, etc. then learn to be comfortable with your skin and be yourself. The easiest thing to do is to be yourself to be comfortable around men. It is a good feeling to be accepted for who you are than pretend to be someone you are not.

Overcoming shyness with men maybe difficult at first but it is not impossible to develop confidence and attract men. Know the details on how to become the woman every man wants, visit Be Irresistible To Men.

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